


Pride (In The Name Of Love)

by GiraffeRobot3000



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Fluff, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Humor, LGBTQ Themes, Love Letters, M/M, PDA, Panic Attacks, Public Display of Affection, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Winter Stop Stalking Me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-05-14 00:37:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 8,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19262422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GiraffeRobot3000/pseuds/GiraffeRobot3000
Summary: After The Rest Of Their Lives had been set forth, there was much more time for Aziraphale and Crowly to come closer, and move into something that wasn't exactly friendship. But when Gabriel eventually has the balls to visit the couple and sees what becomes of them, he has more than just a few words to say.





	1. Warnings / Triggers and Beginnings

So, I got this cool Good Omens idea.

Y'know how 95% of homophobes are religious jerks who hide behind the bible? Well, why don't I see more homophobic works in the Good Omens LGBTQ+ aspect that everyone in the fandom has agreed is definitely there?

So, basically... 

Gabriel is gonna be a real jerk

 

(Trigger Warnings!)

Homophobia

Homophobic Language/Themes

Self Deprivation/Hatred

Abusive Relationships

Panic Attacks

Anxiety

Depression (Sometimes)

Just a bunch of Angst, man

(Sorry, not sorry)

 

DEAR HOMOPHOBES;

Back off, man. No one likes you, just be kind.

- ~~A struggling, Pan~~ ~~Trans guy~~

-Everyone ever that is/agreed with the LGBTQ+ community

 

See ya in a week or so!

 

EDIT: Let's do this!! (21/6/19 ; Literally at Midnight)


	2. Can't Find A Name For It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I decided to name the chapters over some cheeky song I think that fits with the summary (probably a song ruined by Tic Toc too, so, be warned)
> 
> Omg, this is going to be the first big protect I've started that people are interested in, so I'm both anxious and proud. (Original works just don't cut it, man)
> 
> Enjoy!

After The Apocalypse That Never Happened, there wasn't really much to do, concerning an angel or a demon, at least. The world still continued for those unaffected by such things, but it certainly did affect you if the whole reason you existed the way you did was for something you inevitably ended up changing yourself. So, to make up for the existential feeling of uselessness settling deep into Aziraphale's gut, he decided to grab an old friend and go get some lunch.

Now, of course, your probably thinking 'Wouldn't that feeling still be there, even though they've went to get lunch?'

And to that I say 'No,' simply because it was who Aziraphale was spending his lunch with that caused his ever anxious ways to quiet a bit. Of course, said person is the demon Crowley, creator of many different inconveniences to the human kind; oatmeal raisin cookies, selfies, elevator music, and, of course, The M25.

Which so happens to be where we find our comedic duo right now, standing completely still in the 4 lanes of traffic, inching forward every 5 minutes.

 

* * *

 

"Great idea, Crowley, make a horrible invention that you're going to use yourself, and upset yourself!" Crowley remarked at himself, fed up with the traffic.

 After a few more painfully slow minutes of traffic, Crowley... 'lost his cool.'

 "That's it! I'm just going to Miracle ourselves out of this!" Crowley yelled, fed up.

 Aziraphale looked over at him. "How? You think no one is going to notice a Bentley suddenly disappear on the M25?"

Crowley looked around, and noticed the driver behind him had his nose turned down, the reflection of a phone on his lap bouncing off his glasses. With a smug smile on his face, he snapped away from the horrors that is lunch time on the M25.

 "Don't worry about it, Angel, I know what I'm doing," After the free range of no cars around, Crowley stepped on the pedal, propelling the pair back into their seats, causing Aziraphale to make a sudden noise of surprise as he reached for anything to hold onto in the car.

As the uncanny duo sat with each other at a small local restaurant, Aziraphale indulging in any sweets that he had seen as they entered and Crowley sipping on his Chardonnay, Aziraphale could feel his troubles sliding away as he looked over at his companion, slouched down in the chair that must've been uncomfortable more than comfortable.

Something so small as getting out of the house shouldn't have affected him the way it had up to this degree, and Aziraphale remembers all the times he felt down in the dumps, he instinctively called Crowley. Maybe it was to hear his voice, or maybe to just remind himself he had a friend somewhere thinking of him. 

Something about calling Crowley 'Friend' didn't quite sit right with Aziraphale, but he couldn't really tell why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's so short, I have a hard time focusing everything on one thing; through this entire writing and editing of this story I was singing the words of Wine Red in my head, which was hard to deal with whilst writing.
> 
> Please understand the chapters are going to be like this- short, but at fast paces. I just can't do one thing very long.
> 
> I tried to write certaint parts of this in a way that sounds like how the narrator (God, I guess,) would tell this story. That's how I imagined it in my head, re-reading it, anyways. What do you guys think?
> 
> Thanks for reading; expect more on a daily basis!


	3. Can't Sleep Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos, Comments and Bookmarks are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Enjoy!

Peering over at the angel through his dark sunglasses, Crowley decided to strike up a conversation, seeing as sitting in silence was pretty awkward. And although Crowley enjoyed making humans feel awkward, it was an odd emotion to him that he would prefer not to feel as much as he could in his long life ahead of him.

 "So.. How's the bookstore?" Crowley drawled, trying to sound uninterested. Inwardly, he cringed at himself. He shouldn't be worrying about how someone else was doing, just looking after himself. Should've said something like, I don't know, "Y'know, your new cologne actually really stinks," or something more Crowley-esc.

 Instead he chose to ask a question about someone else's well being, and he actually wanted to know the answer. Aziraphale seemed to just overlook the oddity of it, and answer with a simple "It's alright, thank you," with a smile.

 Why was he always so polite and naive? Just one simple compliment from anyone made his day, it was so odd and.. kind of adorable, Crowley realised. The small talk had somehow continued, despite the seemingly odd start. It maybe it was only Crowley who thought it was weird. After all, where Aziraphale comes from, compliments and wonders of well-being must be thrown around willy nilly. Or, that's what he used to think before he'd swapped into Aziraphale's body and stood in the fire up in heaven. Turns out most of the angels up there aren't all that far from being demons- just their way of portraying their hatred was... less direct.

To Crowley, Aziraphale was the only  _real_ angel out there.

 

* * *

 

 

When lunch was over, and Crowley had dropped off Aziraphale at his bookshop, the demon went back to his apartment, and busied his time talking to his houseplants about nothing in particular. They were  great listeners, seeing a they can't talk, and even if they did, he knew they would be too afraid of him to actually pipe up.

He felt quite bored, seeing as time back in the medieval times meant much more time doing something on your feet, but nowadays, such things as 'Killing people ' was 'Illegal ' and Aziraphale had said to him 'I don't want to see you get into any trouble,' and, of course, Crowley decided he would,  _only_ because Aziraphale said not to.

But, he could always just ignore how Aziraphale felt, and kill someone anyways, because screw him, he didn't care at all what he thought. He could go kill something right now and he wouldn't care, not at all!

But, he was already settled in for the night, so what was the point, oh well, guess he just had to kill the unsuspecting human tomorrow. No big deal, anyways. Besides, Aziraphale told him not to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't be uploading for the next 2 days after tomorrow- I have GaTE/TaG/GT/Whatever you call the Gifted and Talented program where you live on Monday and Tuesday, so I'll take a break on Sunday and Monday, so I can get at least a little bit of sleep.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	4. Say Hey (I Love You)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for everyone who left Kudos on this/ bookmarked it! It helps me continue this series.
> 
> Enjoy!

After a week or so of The Rest Of Their Lives, Crowley got a letter in the mail. The Demon in question had just came back from having dinner, but this time Aziraphale had stayed home. 

 _"I have something important I need to tell someone; maybe next time,"_ The Angel had told him over the phone, after Crowley had asked if he had wanted to tag along. Crowley didn't question it, seeing as Aziraphale had a life besides him. . He assumed.

But now that he saw the letter left for him, or the way the y had a curl on the end of Crowley on the address had told the Demon all he needed to know. There was no return address, just his name written in the front.  _It must've been dropped off then, not mailed,_ he thought. 

After settling into his throne overlooking the city, the Demon messily opened the letter, and read the note inside.

 

_Dear Crowley,_

_I am writing this to you instead of just telling you because I'm afraid of how you will react. I know that we haven't been the closest of friends, but I always felt a little stronger whenever I was with you. Recently, I've realized why._

_I was feeling love. Whenever I was with you, the feeling of love brightened ever so slightly. I first assumed it was from you, but I knew that wasn't right. How could someone like you like someone like me?_

_After that discovery, I realised I was the one in love. With you. And I always had been, but I've never realized that was what I was feeling._

_Essentially, what I want to say, is that I love you, Crowley, despite our clear differences. I don't know how else to say it._

_Sincerely,_

 

.

.

 

Crowley put down the paper, already knowing who it was from, and grabbed his telephone.

 

* * *

 

 

_This was a horrible idea._

Aziraphale was pacing around his flat, practically panicing. 

_He must be reading it by now. Or maybe he's already read it, and he just didn't think it worth anything and just threw it out._

_He doesn't love me back._

Aziraphale's chest tightened, and his breathing hitched.

  _He doesn't love me back._

His eyes threatened to flow over with tears as he stopped cold, trying to gasp in air he didn't need into his lungs he didn't have to use.

_**He doesn't-** _

 

And then the phone rang. And as soon as he picked it up with shaking hands, the one voice he needed to hear the most broke through.

_"Aziraphale, you damn idiot, did you think I would just say no to you? Your the one who says no! "_

The dam broke, and the Angel broke into sobs over the phone.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder I won't be uploading again until Tuesday (Or Wednesday I guess, technically?) At midnight, as usual.
> 
> Thanks!


	5. We Think We Know You.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaaack!!  
> Enjoy!

It has been 1 month since The Start Of The Rest Of Their Lives, and it was official.

The odd couple had moved past their awkward flirting slow-burn-of-6000-years stage, and are now officially a thing (Which brought many appraise from Anathema, convinced that they were a couple when the idiots had hit her with their car)

Another thing that was official was that Heaven had finally figured out what exactly went down exactly 1 month ago, regarding the whole hellfire business. Word from Hell about the holy water incident had made it's way up, and after some hard brainstorm sessions, and a couple of checks from the cameras they had to find them switching bodies, they realized what had really gone on.

So, of course, Micheal sent Gabriel down there to have a... 'chat' with our (now taken!) angel friend.

But when Gabriel entered the old bookshop and found it empty, he decided he may as well have a look around SoHo to try and find him (Gabriel was not a very bright angel, and didn't think of the thought to just wait for Aziraphale to return home)

 

* * *

 

 

In Berkley Square, an angel and a demon were sitting on a bench; although,a passerby would just have seen it as two old friends sitting together, completely normal and human.

The couple had decided to leave the whole affection thing inside, somewhere there was no one else with prying eyes watching. Because, despite what it may seem, homophobia is still a very large problem. The two had an argument over who's side it was that made it, since many homophobes hide behind the bible, while homophobia itself is something that is deranged and horrible enough, it should be from Hell. Despite the fact that the two aren't exactly both male, they knew they looked the part, and kept off each other. In public, at least.

They definitely enjoyed the human act of kissing, and Aziraphale enjoyed hugs and simple touches just to have contact of someone who cares for him keeping him on his feet. Crowley enjoyed more verbal affection, making the pet name 'Angel' sound a bit more _like_  a pet name instead of a classification.

In the park, the two were talking about nothing in particular  ~~ _(I don't know what people talk about these days- I just stay in my room watching YouTube all day; give me a break)_~~ when Crowley suddenly closed the space inbetween them with a kiss. Just a quick one; the ducks have.. eyes. But, Crowley was having a somewhat bad day, what with a plant getting a spot and gaining knowledge that Heaven had decided to bring the idiot Gabriel down to earth to interrogate them, and possibly take his Angel away from him, never to be seen again. But mainly the plant part. 

Aziraphale blushed at the sudden affection, face both surprised and confused and happy to be with his love at the same time.

 "C-Crowley, someone could have seen us!" Aziraphale stammered out, trying to sound unimpressed with the kiss, even though he deeply enjoyed it.

 "Don't worry about it, Angel! Times are changing, your overreacting this whole _homophobia_ thing!" Crowley said back, placing a soothing hand at the Principality's neck and scooting closer on the bench.

Aziraphale's eyes flicked from one passing person to the other,  ~~praying~~ hoping no one had seen the kiss.

 

Unfortunately, someone did.

And it was the one person that mattered the most that they hadn't seen it.

 

* * *

 

 

The couple had business to attend to, so they left rather quickly after that. Maybe part of it was that Aziraphale was extremely uncomfortable showing that much affection out in public and came up with a lame excuse, or maybe he really did have to file some new books in his shop. Either way, they had left maybe 3 minutes after said kiss, and Crowley dropped Aziraphale off at his flat.

Aziraphale locked the door behind him, wanting nothing more than to just collapse in the couch and read a good book, away from everyone and just be by himself. Unfortunately, someone decided to give the Angel a visit. 

After the encounter at the park, Gabriel had thought better then to make a scene in the middle of a public area where the walls have ears.

So, he decided to wait at Aziraphale's bookshop. And as soon as the lock on the door was heard, he stepped out from the kitchen to meet the other Angel.

When the two locked eyes, for a moment time froze. Aziraphale's chest tightened again, and an existential feeling of dread decided the Angel's heart was the perfect place to settle on top of.

 "How's it going, Aziraphale," 

 The growl in the words told Aziraphale all he needed to know. He had seen what had happened, and only God knows what Angels did to gays in Heaven.

But he had a feeling he would find out soon.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was a bit longer, I had a longer attention span now that things are getting hyped up!
> 
> Thanks for reading! Comments, Kudos, and Bookmarks are very much appreciated, they encourage me to keep this story going for _someone!_


	6. Secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

Gabriel walked up to the still frozen Aziraphale with a look of both disgust and unamusement on his face. Aziraphale looked like someone who had been told their bookshop had burned down. 

For a moment, nothing happened.

And then Aziraphale was pinned up against the door, the Archangel's purple eyes glaring into his.

 "First you ruin everything about the apocalypse, next you fool Heaven into thinking you've turned Demon, and now you're in love with  _that thing?_ Do you understand how wrong that is on so many different levels?  _What the Heaven happened to that obedient Principality I chose special for this_   _job!?_ _"_

Aziraphale pleaded with all of his heart that the glistening blur in his eyes would go away, and that he could look into Gabriel's eyes without fear. But, of course, Aziraphale was not a very brave person, since Heaven had conditioned him to just do as told. So as he stood there, taking the harsh words that left the Archangel's mouth like a hiss from a serpent, he couldn't help the tears forming.

 

* * *

 

 "I'm taking this back up and we'll decide what to do with a  _Queer_ Angel," Gabriel finally said after many harsh words and slaps across the face later. 

 

It turns out it was Heaven that had made Homophobia.

 

 "Oh, and one more thing," Gabriel turned around to look at the Angel before descending.

 "Don't you dare tell the Demon about any of this,"

 And with a flash of light, he was gone.

 

The moment Aziraphale was alone, he crumpled to the floor in soft sobs. He had already let a few tears slip out during the yelling, but he had managed to keep a majority of the crying inside. But now that he was alone, he couldn't keep them in.

He stayed on the floor a while after his sobs had settled down, and once or twice he thought about going into a chair.  _I don't deserve to,_ he thought. So, he stayed on the ground well after those thoughts, too.

It wasn't until around 1 in the morning when Aziraphale finally got up. His phone was ringing, and there was only one person the Angel knew that would be up this hour. 

So, clearing his throat for any lumps that might have been hiding inside still, Aziraphale picked up the phone.

 "Hey, Angel, how does lunch tomorrow sound? I've found a new place called 'Chesters'," Crowley's voice sounded from the phone.

 "Oh, y-yes, sounds fine, my dear," Aziraphale clearly hadn't been prepared enough, since his voice came out flat and nervous.

 "You alright, Angel?" Crowley ventured. He hadn't missed the stutter in his voice.

 This time, Aziraphale righted himself.

 "Ah, yes, sorry. That sounds great!" The chipperness back in his voice did little to soothe the Demon, who had known that Gabriel was coming that dsy, and this sudden turn of demeanor linked together too well.

 "Hey, by any chance, did Gabriel come around today?"

 The lump in Aziraphale's throat reappeared. He couldn't lie to his lover! But, if he worded it the right way..

 "Ah, yes, actually. He seemed pretty much over the whole Apocalypse thing- we talked about. . other things,"

Crowley's breath of relieve was obvious through the phone.

 "So you guys are friends again?"

 " ..Yes, I suppose we are, " Aziraphale hated the lie, but he didn't know how he would be able to speak the truth.

 "Alright, good. See you at lunch," 

 And with that, the line ended, and Aziraphale didn't realise how much he needed someone else's voice to keep him balanced. Now he felt both extremely alone, and like there were thousands of eyes on him all at once.

 

Now, Aziraphale never really needed to sleep, or found it like something not worth doing; he would much rather prefer reading the night away, but reading wasn't very appealing right now, and sleep seemed the only thing that would keep dark thoughts from entering the Angel's mind. So, for the first time in a while, Aziraphale decided to go to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	7. But Nobody Came

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...

The lunch date the next day was canceled.

 

After The Incident, Aziraphale tried to keep away from Crowley as much as possible. Gabriel had said he wouldn't bring it up to Michael if by a week, the pair had broken up.

This, of course left the Angel in a dark place.

Having to choose between love and self protection was a very hard choice, and Aziraphale found his mind entering dark places whenever he was left alone without a distraction. He knew Heaven would do nothing to harm him physically; that was more Hell's lot- no, they much prefer psychological abuse. The kind that seem like dull insults you could brush off and ignore at first, just for them to start digging in the more they told you.

And Aziraphale really didn't want to suffer through that again.

But he couldn't break off with Crowley with no reason; how would the Demon react? Would he catch on and do something stupid, or just stay in the dark and think of Aziraphale as a massive jerk?

 

These thoughts continued throughout the week, and in the end, Aziraphale decided to just take Heaven's wrath. 

Horrible decision, really. But what other choice did he have? He couldn't do that to Crowley.

 

Of course, many times Crowley tried to contact the Angel, but he never returned his calls, and when he came down to the shop, he found it closed. That didn't stop him, of course, and he continued to knock on the door. He tried ringing the doorbell. He even tried to miracle the door open, to no avail. The Demon did everything in his power to try to open the door.

 

But nobody came.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if I can keep writing this fic.  
> I'm an idiot  
> I'm sorry if I do stop it, I just chose a dark topic I thought I could handle after 2 years.
> 
> I'm so sorry.


	8. ex.No_Chapter_Name_Found.

Sorry about yesterday.

And today, now that I think about it.

 

2 years ago I had very bad depression which included self harm and starvation, and although I've gotten over it by writing about it, I also can't write about it sometimes.

It also doesn't help that every time I post I think everyone is going to hate it, and that I shouldn't post such horrible works on a place like this. Thank you everyone that has sent me a kind comment, or a writing tip, or just left a kudos on this.

But sometimes I just can't help it.

 

Last night and tonight are one of the nights that writing about it wasn't helping.

 

 

I'll try to get something out tomorrow night, I promise. I've made enough trouble..

 

Stay strong, whatever problems you have you can get past it. 💚

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.


	9. Wine Red

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so much everyone who left a kind comment last night an the night before. You're all amazing people I wish I could be like some day.
> 
> Today is a day where writing about it helps me. I just got back from Pride Fest, so woo hoo!

It had been 5 days since Aziraphale had blown off Crowley for the lunch date, and after all the times he had tried to enter the bookshop, he found he couldn't.

He thought it was a game at first, but after a while, he knew something was up.

He had to make sure his Angel was ok.

 

After Crowley had busted down the door to the bookshop (It wasn't that hard, really; the door was old and he had Demon magic on his side, which was much stronger then Angel magic), he felt something odd shift in the air around him. The aura of the flat wasn't the same, it seemed more grim, and... Depressing.

After checking the bottom floor of the flat, the bookshop, Crowley crept upstairs.

Throughout the whole search, his metaphorical heart was hammering.  _Have they recalled him? Did Gabriel come down and kill him? Oh god, what if he just wants to cut off our relationship and I just seem like a fool hungover him!?_

Crowley's mind raced a thousand thoughts a second as he looked over to see the light underneath the Angel's door was on. The Demon reached over to the handle, turning it slightly..

 

Aziraphale sat quietly at his desk, looking down at a book. His eyes were glazed over, as if not reading any word, deep in his own thoughts.

 "Angel! You're ok!" Crowley beamed at this, grinning.

 The Angel in question practically shot out of his seat in surprise at the sudden voice.

 "Crowley! What are- why are you here?" Aziraphale stuttered.

 "Well, you weren't answering any phone calls or opening the door, so I took it upon myself to see what was going on," Crowley answered, as if that was a perfectly logical reason to break into someone's home.

Aziraphale didn't answer at first. The Demon shifted uncomfortably on his feet, the feeling of Depression had grown to a high in the Angel's room. Crowley knew that was a very bad sign.

 "I-I guess I just... Got distracted by my new book, and didn't notice the phone calls or knocks," 

 Crowley looked over the Angel's desk and found the telephone very close in proximity. The knocking maybe, but his phone was right next to him. He would've heard it ringing, and the Demon called him a lot.

 "Angel, tell me why you don't want to be together anymore and I'll totally understand,  just don't abandon me after 6,000 years," 

 This comment left Aziraphale spluttering for words. No, he didn't want to break up! 

 "Wha- N-no, It's not like- You're not- I don't-don't want to do that!" Aziraphale finally stuttered out.

 "Then what's the problem then?" Crowley tried to keep his cool, but that was easier said then done for a Demon.

Aziraphale ducked his head. After a beat, he replied;

"I can't tell you," His voice had subsided to just above a whisper, with a quiver that shook Crowley's heart.

 Now, Crowley is a fairly smart creature, what having been around for quite a while. And although he might not be the best portraying feelings, or any emotional hooey, he knew about the passage of time and how events list in order well.

Therefore it wasn't a problem for him to piece together where all this was coming from, but he was too afraid to learn that what he believes has happened was the truth. But now the evidence was sitting right in front of him, maybe in a concealed way, but the answered lines up too well.

 "What did you and Gabriel really talk about when he came over a couple daysss ago?" Crowley couldn't have stopped his hiss if he had tried. The realization dawned upon him, and all he could feel was anger.

The Angel kept his eyes glued on his hands, that were wringing themselves in a constant pace. His face had gone sheet white.

 "I can't tell you," Aziraphale answered again, this time really in a whisper. The glum feeling in the room sank heavier.

 

 Crowley lost whatever cool he had left, because the second realization had dawned on him again.

This was all  _his fault!_ If he wasn't so keen on kissing Aziraphale in the park, none of whatever was happening with his Angel would have happened! He was such an  _Idiot!_

So, he took his frustration out on the closest thing in proximity; a wall. He'll miracle away the holes later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm not uploading this at my usual time, the Pride Parade ran late.  
> Thank you for everyone who has stuck by my side through all of this. I love you all so much and thank you for all the support you give.  
> 💚💚


	10. No Angels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you all 💚  
> Enjoy!

After Crowley had calmed down slightly (and got rid of the holes where he had punched the walls from anger) the two decided they needed to  _talk._

Now, really, this was Crowley's idea. Aziraphale would have been perfectly fine with not talking about anything, but he should've known he would want to talk about it.

So they sat and talked.

 

In reality, it was more answering questions.

 "Now, I know you said you can't tell me, but this is important, Angel. What did you and Gabriel talk about?" Crowley asked the anxious Angel sitting across from him.

For a moment, Aziraphale didn't reply.

 "It's our lot. That invented homophobia, that is," Aziraphale finally said. It wasn't that hard to decipher the meaning behind that; Crowley had already found the root of the problem was from the moment in the park.

 "Angel... I'm so sorry, this is all my fault," Crowley finally said, looking down at his shoes.

 Aziraphale really wanted to tell him that it wasn't. There weren't any fingers to point, and even if there was, Aziraphale hated pointing them. But there was no denying that Crowley had brought this down upon them. So he let the silence fill the room.

 "Can you tell me, at least, what happened? I want to make up for it any way I can,"

Crowley's glasses had been discarded, and when Aziraphale met Crowley's eyes, he felt as if some weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He knew he had to keep them on so that humans won't see them, but he really did enjoy the gold colour. It reminded him that he wasn't alone. There was a lot of weight still, but together, just maybe, they would be able to fly still.

 " ..He saw it. He saw the kiss, and now he's threatening to take it to Michael, which can't be good at all, and, oh, god, he wouldn't stop yelling, and all I wanted to do was disappear, and now I've done things I shouldn't have, and I don't know what to do,"

His voice had trailed from normal to loud to a whisper in a matter of 5 seconds. He hadn't realised he was starting to cry until he looked up and saw that the face of a broken hearted Demon before him was fuzzy of tears.

Aziraphale glanced down quickly, sniffing away whatever was trying to fall out of his nose. There was another batch of silence, until a warm hand brushed away the tears from Aziraphale's right eye.

Risking glancing up, the Angel found Crowley had shifted so he was kneeling in front of him, cupping his cheek.

 "What do you mean you've done things you shouldn't have?" Crowley asked, barely above a whisper, soothing and full of emotion. Maybe that was why Aziraphale loved it when Crowley took off his glasses. He showed more emotion through his eyes than any other way.

His vision blurred again. Worse this time.  _Did you really say that, you idiot?!_

 "It-It's nothing. Just, that I shouldn't have been with... Another man," A fairly good cover, Aziraphale thought.

 "Oh, Angel..." 

 Crowley pulled in his face for a kiss. It was soft and soothing in a way that Demon lips shouldn't be able to be. Aziraphale's flapping arms found a place in a soft hug around Crowley's neck, and Crowley's other hand was placed around Aziraphale's middle.

It went on for what seemed like an eternity, until the finally pulled apart. They rested their foreheads against each other, and Crowley finally spoke up.

 "I can tell when people are lying, you know,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	11. Honeybee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AGHH LATE UPDATE!!  
> I didn't start writing this until after 12, and then the interface was being stupid and deleted my work! I'm sorry for uploading so late, I'll try to actually upload correctly tomorrow.
> 
> (SELF HARM TRIGGERS AHEAD!! Stay safe, you guys 💚)  
> Enjoy!

The Angel gasped as he realised what he meant, despite his best efforts to suppress it. He tried to pull away from the embrace, but the Demon's grip turned tight, his comforting hand on his face falling to hold him down on his shoulder.

 "Angel what did you do?" Crowley's voice growled with anger and demanding, he had to know his Angel hadn't done something stupid.

 Aziraphale tried pushing off of him with his hands, trying to wriggle away from him, wanting to get out of the chair and fly into the night, never to be seen by anyone again.

But Demons were still considerably stronger then Angels, so Crowley had only the emotional trouble of holding down the Angel.

 "Aziraphale, please," Crowley's voice cracked with emotion, and Aziraphale looked Crowley in the eyes, finally sitting still. He tried counting all the times the Demon had actually called him by his name instead of the pet name 'Angel' and found he could count as many times on one hand. 

This wasn't something he was going to beat around the bush with.

 

Finally, Aziraphale mustered up all the courage he had and looked to his feet. They immediately fretted to a different spot on the floor. He couldn't look Crowley in the eye for this. He couldn't bear the about of emotion pouring from his eyes already, so what would become of the eyes when he told him the truth?

"W-well, after the-the, uh.. 'Incident', uh, w-well, it was... Hard. A-and I found that.." Aziraphale broke into a whisper.

 "...The pain.. Helped,"

 

 Aziraphale didn't need to look up to know the about of emotions flashing through the Demon's face right now. Pure rage and absolute sadness, and endless fear.

_You selfish idiot, you made him upset. You shouldn't have told him, now he has to deal with all your problems._

_What kind of Fucking Angel are you?_

Aziraphale shuddered, the last sentence coming out in the voice of Gabriel in his head. 

 

Crowley grabbed Aziraphale's wrist harshly and suddenly, snapping him from his thoughts. He pulled up the sleeves of his shirt to find..

 "...What?" Crowley's voice carried hints of hope, hope which burned the kindle of self doubt settling in Aziraphale's stomach. 

 "Not there," Aziraphale let out, trying not to whimper.

Crowley's eyes filed with dread again, as he looked down Aziraphale's legs.

 "L-lower," The Angel's voice was breaking now, trying his hardest not to cry out.

 Finally, Crowley pulled up Aziraphale's pants slightly to expose his ankles.

The sight could've made Crowley break down into tears right there, but he stayed strong for Aziraphale.

 

  _You did this to him, you kissed him and made Gabriel yell at him-_

 

 ** _Gabriel_**.

 

_The next time I see that Fucker..._

_That Bitch is going to get it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It felt really good to write this chapter.  
> Thanks 💚


	12. My Blood

It has been 1 month and a week since The Start Of The Rest Of Their Lives, somewhere around 8 at night. Aziraphale knew that Gabriel would be coming soon, so he did a double take of the Aura hider. Crowley decided he wanted to talk to the Archangel when he came down, so they needed a way to cover up the obvious hue that stated a Demon was near.

Sure enough, the candles were all lit, and the charm was still active. He had set up candles in every corner of the room, and Crowley had hunched behind a bookshelf near a corner, across the room from Aziraphale.

If it all worked to plan, Gabriel would be unconscious on the floor from chlorophyll to the face, and then... Well, they hadn't gotten past that part yet.

 

* * *

 

 

At around 8:30, a sudden burst of lightning shattered through the 2 layers of roof and onto a spot in the middle of the room.

Gabriel appeared where the lightning had struck, and Aziraphale watched as the two roofs slowly fixed themselves above him.

 "Hello, Aziraphale," Gabriel's voice sounded contempt as he gave a smile to the Angel in question, but his eyes were piercing through him with nothing but pure disgust. Aziraphale shifted on his feet.

 "Ah, hello, Gabriel," Aziraphale managed to say without stuttering. 

 "So, how's it going with the Demon?" Gabriel slowly walked around the bookshop, circling Aziraphale like a predator circling its prey.

 "Um... Well. We've uh, barely talked, um, through the whole week, so.. G-good?" Aziraphale knew that was anything but good, but not to Gabriel.

 "Good, good...

 " But did you ever end it?"

The question caught Aziraphale slightly off guard. 

 "I-I mean, well, not-not technically, we haven't really.... Well, y-you see, and when we talked it wasn't-"

 "Then let's watch you do it," Gabriel interrupted, a small growl escaping from his throat.

 "P-Pardon?"

 "Oh, definitely not," 

 ". . What?" Aziraphale was getting extremely confused and wound up, his chest starting to turn tight again.

 "Let's see you call this Demon and end this whole charade! Of course that won't be the end of it, we'll probably take you back up to heaven for a while, do some 'reassigning' discipline, and, well, it's probably best for you to stay up in heaven away from the Demon,"

 Aziraphale couldn't believe what was happening. This was all going to Hell.  _Breathe. We have a plan._

As calmly as he could, he walked over to his telephone and dialed Crowley's home phone. He stole a glance over at the bookshelf where Crowley was hiding, but he couldn't find anything but a simple bookshelf. He wished he had seen some part of him for support, but he used the support that Crowley was well hidden to hide the shaking in his fingers.

Of course, no one picked up. He hung up before it got voicemail.

 "Best to say it in person, it's rude to just leave a voicemail about something so important," Aziraphale tried to back himself up.

 "I suppose I just have to do it some other time, when you're not here,"

 "Doesn't he carry a personal phone with him?" Gabriel questioned, not ready to back down. He needed proof.

 "I-I.. Well..."

 "Call that phone," Gabriel demanded. Aziraphale looked once more over at the bookshelf, but still nothing.  _What are we going to do?_

Aziraphale dialed Crowley's personal phone number, and waited for a moment as it ran through.

 

Then a phone started to ring near the bookshelf. Aziraphale's heart dropped in fear, as Gabriel whipped around to the noise.

 "He's here!?" Gabriel cried. He walked over to the bookshelf , turning the edge and found..

A stray cellphone on the ground, with the face saying 'Aziraphale' as it rang.

 "You know, you and your lot are even worse then Hell sometimes," Gabriel spun around to find Crowley standing next to a surprised (and slightly relieved) Aziraphale, wrapping an arm around the Angel's waist.

 "You," 

 "Me,"

 "Why, you-"

 " 'Why you?' " Crowley practically spat the sentence out.

 "I should be sssaying that to you, not you to me! You've fucked with me and my Angel in a way that I'll never let you feel comfort again!" Crowley hissed at the Archangel, stepping away from Aziraphale towards him.

 "You're going to regret ever ssstepping foot into this bookshop, tell me, have you ever felt the  _power_ of a Demon'ss pure rage against your ssskin? Because if you don't want to know, you'd better  _ssstart running_ and never look back!"

 The Demon had cornered the Archangel against a bookshelf and his face, his expression one of both fear and anger.

 "Crowley," A small voice from the back of the room brought Crowley back from the 9th Gate of Hell. 

Sighing, Crowley backed off, stepping towards the Angel.

 "You're lucky I have such an amazing sssoulmate, something  _You don't even have_. Get a life, you sssscumbag," 

 It wasn't much of a high hit ending, but Crowley didn't care. 

 "I'll be back, and I won't be alone," Gabriel finally warned, with a final look of hatred piercing Aziraphale so painfully, he shuddered and looked at the floor, piercing his lips.

 Another crack of lightning, and he was gone.

Crowley immediately turned to the Angel and wrapped his arms around him in a hug. Aziraphale returned it, holding tight.

 "I'm so sorry you have to deal with sssuch a jerk all the time, Angel," Crowley said into Aziraphale's curls as the Angel rested his head on Crowley's shoulder.

 "Yeah," Aziraphale couldn't help but laugh slightly at this "He's hard to work with at the least,"

 Crowley wasn't sure how long they hugged, and then kiss, since they were leaning on each other anyways, he just knew that his Angel felt safe in his arms, and that was exactly where he wanted him.


	13. I'll Rust With You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

It had been 2 months since The Start Of The Rest Of Their Lives, 3 weeks after Gabriel had stormed out. It was a rainy August night, and Aziraphale stared out into the storm from his desk.

The rain was comforting; it reminded Aziraphale of the time he had first met Crowley. Well, in human form at least.

He first saw him in snake form, and thought he was one of God's creations. It was lonely in Eden, so he decided to just talk to it, figuring it couldn't understand him back.

Crowley still teased him about it to this day.

 

The dinner date had been canceled, since Crowley didn't want to get wet, saying something about ruining his hair, so they just stayed at home.

Crowley had insisted on moving in with him, saying that he needed to be there when Gabriel came back, but Aziraphale knew that he also just wanted to be closer to the Angel because that meant they could hang out more, and haunting out more ment kissing more, and they both liked kissing, despite the human tendencies around it.

Crowley came around the bend from the kitchen into the room, with a wine bottle in his left hand, and two wine cups in his left.

 

Despite the rain, Aziraphale was nervous. It had been 3 weeks exactly since the encounter, and Aziraphale was starting to worry what was taking so long. We're they gathering up all the Angels in Heaven? Surely he wasn't worth that much trouble; he's assume they would be more keen on the whole 'stopping the Apocalypse' thing, not just the borders on who is allowed to love who.

_Or maybe they just have up on you._

Aziraphale would have thought that a bad thing in the past, but in this situation, it was the best possible outcome that seemed reasonable (he greatly doubted that Heaven was just going to forgive him on the spot and just be friends again) so he latched onto that last bit of hope he had left inside.

But his grip on said hope was slipping every day, despite his best attempts to keep it with him, including his crude brutality onto his ankles.

 

Around 9, the whole house shook of thunder, like the one when Gabriel had done, accept much louder. They slammed down their wine glasses, and ran into the kitchen.

A large hole gasped in the floor, as down on the first level, the 4 Angels had gathered.

 

 _Well, just those four don't seem so bad._ Crowley thought, looking down at the group that stated back up at him. The hole reformed again, along with the one above him for the roof, and he grabbed Aziraphale's hand to bring him downstairs to meet the Angels.

 

In reality, he had expected.. Well, more then just the 4. Maybe more like.. 25. Do they even understand the limits of Demon magic? He could take them out in seconds. As he and Aziraphale stood face to face to the 4, Michael stepped forward.

 "Aziraphale, Principality, Guardian of the West Gate and former Cherub, we've gathered here in court-"

 "In court?" Crowley quickly cut off the Angel with a look of confusion.  _What in the world are they ranting about now?_

"...In court to do your trial of being Queer, " The Angel continued, eyes slipping from Crowley back to a nervous Aziraphale.

_Queer_

It was an out-dated term, and it meant to harm to use now, but in the past the word was a terrible slang. Crowley can only assume they're using it in such context, unbeknownst of the knowledge that it was no longer a bad thing to be called.

 "How do you plead?"

 it was a stupid question.  _How do you think, you idiot?_ Crowley wanted to hiss, but he knew it was up to Aziraphale.

 "W-well, um, Guilty" Aziraphale said, as if it was obvious, but still slightly nervous being with the 4 Angels again.

"Well, we still have to make a case, " Michael said with a tired sigh, as if she'd rather be anywhere but here.

Uriel swept away the carpet covering the circle in the middle of the bookshop, and set up the communicator.

After they had set up the circle and had contacted the Metatron, they stated the case again, Aziraphale pleading Guilty again.

 

And for a moment, everything went silent. Then, the large head disappeared, replaced with a very angry looking white figure. She seemed to radiate white, as if She was some type of lamp. She had no set figure, just a pure white outline of a 7 foot persons. Her position have away her feelings of anger immediately.

  _"You idiots, do you know how long I've been eating for them to hook up? 6,000 years and only now have I finally gotten to watch these two be an adorable couple!"_ The voice was impossibly soft, but the anger still carried through.

 Aziraphale blushed. The 4 Angel's stared, stone eyes at the sudden a appearance of  _literally_   _God_ in the room. Crowley just laughed. It was a real, full laugh, that sounded like ducks quacking at each other on the river. Aziraphale could've swam through that river all day if he could.I

 "It was God's plan for us to end up together?  _Really?!"_ Crowley couldn't keep his laughing contained, and Aziraphale giggled a little with him, still nervous in the presence of The Almighty.

  _"Well, yes, I mean, no, but I.. Well... "_ She suddenly seemed embarrassed, and Aziraphale realized how much She must care about Her creations for the human emotions of such have rubbed off onto Her.

_"That's not the point! The point it, I don't know why you are all so obsessed with who people love over a little typo. "_

 

This sure got Gabriel's attention.

 

 "W-what?! So you  _approve_ of this..  _Unnatural-"_

_" It's not unnatural at all, Gabriel, "_

 

 

The Archangel practically froze on the spot.

 _"..Very well Almighty,"_ Gabriel muttered through clenched teeth. In another flash of lightning, the Angels were gone.

 _"I'm terribly sorry about all of this, my dears, "_ The Almighty then focused all Her attention on the couple standing dumbfounded in front of her. Aziraphale shied behind Crowley, as he stared at Her with a cool smirk.

 "It's pretty cool to know The Almighty is on our side, huh, Angel?" Crowley poked Aziraphale in the ribs with his elbow, causing Aziraphale to flinch backwards

"A-ah, um, well, yes, uh.. " Aziraphale shut himself up before he trailed on with more stutters.  _You're in front of God Herself, and your acting like this?!_

Aziraphale couldn't decide if that thought was directed at himself or Crowley. Maybe both.

 

 _"Listen, you two are very special, in your own unique ways. Don't let anyone take that from you, "_ and with a wink of an eye that was more of a feeling that they'd just been winked at, seeing as the figure had no mouth or eyes, the light was gone.

 

Crowley bursted back into laughter, and this time Aziraphale let himself laugh with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tomorrow I will wrap up this series, but fret not!! I have another series of The Ineffable Husbands on it's way in the making, and a short story between Anathema and Newt coming on it's way, as well as a wing fic (those are always fun)!  
> This has been a crazy ride to go on, but I'm glad none of you jumped out of the seat.  
> Thank you all so much!! 💚


	14. Never Be Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this has been crazy, and I'm glad and sad to say it's finally over.  
> But can I just vent for a moment?  
> My favorite character freaking dies in Stranger Things, dude.
> 
> Like Bruh you introduced him to us this season, and you kill him off? Don't mess with a guy's heart like that, he was hella cute!
> 
> Anyways..  
> (MORE SELF HARM TRIGGERS AHEAD; Stay safe! 💚)
> 
> Thank you, and enjoy!

It was 2 months after The Start Of The Rest Of Their Lives, and everything was normal.

The couple continued to be together, going to lunch dates and such, and they continued to feed their ducks and pigeon in the many parks they choose to sit at on a sunny day.

 

But some things did still change.

They were much more careful with showing affection alone, where no one would see something they shouldn't.

 

And Aziraphale wore socks all the time.

 

_I mean, I understand that he doesn't want anyone to see them, but they must've healed over by now, and he can make the scars to away faster with some Miracle! Why does he still hide them?_

Crowley could never really figure out why his Angel wouldn't just heal himself normal. Everything was back to the usual after all, Hell, they have God in their side (who apparently was their first ever shipper) so it made so sense for him to  _keep_ cutting.

 

That is until he walked in on Aziraphale without his socks on and saw  _more._

 

Aziraphale was, as usual, reading something in his room. Crowley had told the Angel he was going off to do the monthly check-up on Adam, just to make sure he hadn't grown any horns out of his head.

In reality, he didn't really even get out of London, when he was at the outskirts of SoHo he would call up Anathema and just make her check.

Sure enough, nothing was wrong, and Crowley had an hour to himself, which usually included going way over the speed limit in an empty back road, just to see how fast he has to go to get his wheels to catch on fire, like in the movies, while Elton John blasted on his radio 

Usually.

Today, he decided to just go back home to Aziraphale and a cup of Cocoa and watch the 12 O'clock rain showers roll in.

 

And was greeted with this.

 

Crowley dropped the two mugs of the chocolate liquid in his hands to the ground, smashing them into a dangerous mix of hot liquid and glass shards. 

Aziraphale spun around in shock at the noise, quickly pulling up his feet.

 "Crowley, don't step in that, it will hurt you!" Aziraphale was quick to retaliate as he realized what Crowley had done. He took a step back from the mess.

 Aziraphale got up, looking up to the Demon.

 "I wasn't expecting you home so early, Tadfield is rather far away," Aziraphale said calmly, Miracling away the mess on the floor with a quick look at it.

 " I-I.. Yeah, just called the Witch. Says he's fine, " Crowley thanked God (he was in Her side now, hearing how supportive She was of them, " that he had his dark sunglasses on; the Angel didn't notice him staring at his... Socks?

Crowley did a double take. Aziraphale was, indeed, wearing socks. They were tan with a light brown and red horizontal line patter across them-  _easy to mistake for scars_ Crowley supplied himself. But he needed to know.

 "Take your socks off," Crowley stated after a beat, eyes flickering back up to the Angel's face, saw the exact moment the words registered, that his face fell, and the exact moment he realised there was no way to get out of this one.

 

 "W-well, Crowley, let's be sensible, I'm not... So sure that you'll want to see it-"

 "Angel, please, I just need to see them,"

 His voice wasn't commanding in any way, but it had a time that made Aziraphale slowly sink down in his chair.

 

 "I'm not so sure I want to see it," Aziraphale tried one last time, looking up.

_Haven't I already told you I can sense lies?_

If course, that sent another emotion through Crowley as he realised what that meant, but he didn't let too deep.

With a snap of the fingers, the socks were off, and Crowley held in a gasp.

 

_"Angel!"_

 

 

Aziraphale flinched at the words, looking down into his hands.

 "Alright, you've seen them, now.. Can I..." Another snap and the socks were back on.

 

 " Angel.. Some-some of those aren't two weeks old, " Crowley finally inquired, eyes shifting up into the Angel's eyes.

 

He didn't reply. How was he supposed to?  _That's because they aren't two weeks old; some of them are just hours old! Now, how about that hot cocoa you spilled?_

Aziraphale sighed, leaning on one arm of the chair with his elbow propping up his face, rubbing his eyes.

His  _eyes._ They were sunken with exhaustion, a desperate cry for sleep Aziraphale ignored. His eyes lost the gleam they had when Crowley had first met him that day in the park, when he had leaned in and kissed him, and Crowley finally realised the full extent of what  _He's_ brought down into his Angel.

How could he have been so  _reckless?!_

Because he wanted so dearly to show that some public affection wasn't so bad, he had caused harm to the one person who he loved.

 

But what could've Gabriel said that made Aziraphale sink  _so low?_ He knew he had taken criticism from his boss before, so  _why now? Why over something so **Stupid?**_

 

But the words he had said were, indeed, much worse. They cut deep into Aziraphale like the cuts on himself, causing pain to his mind that ended up carrying the pain to his body, in an attempt to get rid of all of the pain.  _If it hurts more on the outside, it won't hurt as much on the inside, right?_

 

Crowley came over to the slightly trembling Angel and knelt beside him, like he had done a week ago when he first learned of all of this.

And, just like a week ago, they, well, kissed.

 

 

 

It's hard to tell how long for, but long enough for Aziraphale to turn from as tight as a board and trembling, to melting into his soft touch. It was what they both needed.

 

Finally, they parted. Crowley layed a hand on his ankle, trying to brush off the flinch of pain, and healed the scars.

 

 

Crowley thought it would be a good idea, but seeing how the Angel react told him it might not have been the best idea.

 

At first, he was relieved, as if a large rock had been taken off of his shoulders, and Crowley relaxed as well.

 

 

Then his entire face dropped, and a quick hand to the mouth barely held the sob inside the Angel's mouth.

 

 "Aziraphale?!" Crowley's hands rushed up to his face, cupping his head. "D-Did I do the wrong thing?"

 

 The pain had grounded Aziraphale the whole time he was dealing with all this. It kept him in check, brought him back up to Earth. 

 

And now that constant pain was gone, with nothing to replace it.

 

Accept one thing.

 

 "Aziraphale. Aziraphale look at me," 

 Slowly, Aziraphale turned his head up to meet Gold. He loved Crowley's eyes so much, did he ever mention that? But when he saw the emotion inside, it took all his willpower to not wince away.

 

 "I don't know whatever your going through, but I want you to know you have me at your side throughout the entire ride. I won't ever abandon you, never. Do you hear me?"

 His voice was incredibly soft, just above a whisper, but every word sang loud and clear in Aziraphale's ears.

 

_Love._

 

_"You'll never be alone,"_

 

* * *

 

 Of course, you don't just stop right away. It was an addiction, you can't simply take it away and expect everything to be fine. You have to work your way down.

Crowley always told himself whenever he came across the Angel barefoot, happy that he was finally comfortable not wearing socks, but still very concerned with the new cuts accompanied by bandages. That was something Crowley had pushed - he said that he didn't want him to get an infection, but it was really a way to see how many times he did it the past night.

The numbers lowered each time, and Aziraphale's spark was slowly starting to come back in his eyes. His smiles finally met his eyes, and his laugh didn't sound hollow.

 

Small steps were to be taken, and Crowley would always be there by Aziraphale's side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for sticking with me. You guys are awesome 💚
> 
> See ya next time, with more Good Omens comin'!


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